credit

about as subtle as an earthquake
"listen, there’s a hell of a good universe next door, let’s go."

Fri, 19th of September

earlier tonight I sang ‘video games’ to a burnt chocolate chip cookie and I wasn’t even drunk 

food mention /   alcohol /   with 2 notes
Thu, 18th of September

tacomaster420:

I’m gonna scream

with 463,764 notes
Thu, 18th of September
with 329,081 notes
Thu, 18th of September

vaporwaveprince:

s/o to all the girls in the world for lookin good as fuck

with 1,111 notes
Thu, 18th of September

just us friends

my face   with 5 notes
Thu, 18th of September
with 88,379 notes
Thu, 18th of September
❝ Men always say that as the defining compliment: the Cool Girl. She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means that I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see these men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: ‘I like strong women.’ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because ‘I like strong women’ is code for ‘I hate strong women.’)
I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to like cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
But it never happened. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon Cool Girl became the standard girl. Men believed she existed - she wasn’t just a dreamgirl one in a million. Every girl was supposed to be this girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.
Thu, 18th of September
with 24,001 notes
Thu, 18th of September

thegestianpoet:

stopitsgingertime:

MY ALARM GOES OFF SO I ROLL OVER AND CHECK MY PHONE AND MY AMERICAN GODS GOOGLE ALERT HAS DELIVERED THIS BOUNTY UNTO ME????????

AM I STILL FUCKING DREAMING, I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER SEE THE GODDAMN DAY, BRYAN FULLER YOU ARE MAKING MY WILDEST DREAMS COME TRUE ONE CARNIVOROUS VAGINA AT A TIME

I don’t even know shit about American Gods but both of these headlines are GOLD

with 7,594 notes
Thu, 18th of September

eirstegalkin:

in a healthy, close relationship of any kind, when something upsets you, you need to bring it up. as soon as possible, even. cultivate an environment in which you both can talk about things that upset you, with the utmost attention to everyone’s feelings. it’s a really simple thing to do but it’s a thing i’ve been working on for a while and i’m getting actual nice things happening as a result

so not mine   with 107,755 notes